This morning I decided to experiment with myself.
Being a very positive and optimistic person, negative thoughts and negative words are a no-no for me.
For the purpose of understanding what is on the other side, I allowed all the negative thoughts, words, situations, limitations, weaknesses to dwell in my thoughts. I did entertained them the same way I have observed some people are in the habit of doing so.
Started thinking negative about things that is happening in my life. I started accepting the lack and the limitations.
Amazing how my body felt so heavy. I felt so discouraged and a drag. Every positive word which I use to declare seems gone. I felt it! I really felt the heaviness and the hopelessness. I was just too feeling, heavy and sleepy. After lunch, went up to our rooftop and felt like I do not want to move. I do not want to do anything else except accept that I am a failure. A defeat.
I took a nap and truly felt it was the heaviest sleep I had. It is the kind of sleep that you do not want to wake up. You know your awake but you do not want to move. Why move? Why open your eyes? When all you think is defeat, failure, negative thoughts, hopelessness.
Started questioning God. Why? Why bring me here then leave me?
The lingering continued. It was probably one of the longest afternoon that I stayed in the rooftop accomplishing nothing. Except bringing myself deeper and deeper to the trap of defeat.
It was not a very good experience. As a matter of fact, I lost all hope and faith.
The next challenge I encountered is returning to the other side. The side where I belong. the positive, optimistic, faith-filled side.
To be honest, as I write, I am still dazed. I am not yet back. The negative feeling is a nightmare.
Now I fully understand.
I understand why some people choose to end their lives.
I understand why some people decides to just sleep the whole day on their problems and waking up is a curse.
I understand why some people, how much you try to share faith building stories, faith-filled words and encouragement, seems to stay down after a few hours has passed.
Can I blame them? Isn’t it in the bible “Doubting Thomas” was part of the team? The disciple who said, I have to see his wounds and put my fingers in before I would believe (TO SEE IS TO BELIEVE).
I think there will always be that type of personality to keep everything balanced.
How can we appreciate faith if nobody is experiencing fear?
How can we appreciate optimism if there will be no pessimists?
The mystery of life continues for me.
As I write this blog my heart is still heavy from the bombardment of negativity I received earlier.
Recovery is not a walk in the park. Now the more I understood this quote that I usually hear from the successful people who went ahead of us :
“a person with a negative mind cannot experience a positive life.”
I can now say, YES..that is correct. When we dwell on the negative, we shut down every light around us. Making our vision darker, more frightening and hopeless. Then we cry out to God, WHY LORD…WHY???
The truth is, GOD gave us the power to choose what to think and what to digest in our thoughts. It is not His fault that we decided to listen to the lies of the enemy. We decided to continue to savour the weakness of the situation rather than His strength as our God.
Then we ask Him Why?
I hope and I pray now that we continue to fight to look at Him in the eyes. Jesus. The author and perfecter of faith.
Yes faith. Its a 5 letter word that seems so scary for the “negative thinkers” but a fragrant sound to the “positive” ones.
FAITH IS BELIEVING that God will do what He said He will do. BELIEVING without SEEING PROOF.
That is Faith. It is truly what each believer needs to LIVE THIS LIFE TO THE FULLEST.
“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
Problems, challenges, pain, frustration, hurts, lack, will always be around. On the other side, solutions, strength, happiness, joy, clarity, wisdom and abundance is also present in the same measure.
The decision will always be ours. WHICH SIDE WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Choose the negative and sleep all day, hoping that life will end and become very unproductive.
Choose the positive and have that smile in your face, that joyful aura and productivity flows in from different directions.
The DECISION IS OURS my friend. WOULD YOU CHOOSE FAITH or FEAR?
Me? I CHOOSE FAITH. How about you?
As I end this blog…I am hoping my heart goes back 100% completely to the bright side. 🙂
May God bless you and please share this blog to your loved ones.
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