Ever wondered why our children sometimes seems to be “unloving”?
So many parents miss this out. I should know, because I had two grown up boys that I missed to guide because of my “lack of time” during my younger years as a teenage father.
I was a failure in the past in this area but I know its not yet too late for me to experience “Fatherhood.” By the grace of our creator, I was given another chance of becoming a father at my ripe age of 40s.
Most parents thought that the way to raise up kids is by doing so much things pertaining to their future. Work, business, and a lot of stuff kids do not even understand. What we do not know is that our kids simply need us besides them. Beside them when they run, beside them when they fall, beside them when they feel good, and beside them when they feel bad.
Believe me, no child has ever thanked God for a beautiful toy without his father.
No child has ever thanked God for a wonderful party at an expensive hotel without his Dad.
No child has ever thanked God enough for an award in school without his parents being present.
In short, for kids, the spelling of love is T-I-M-E.
The time we spend so hard earning money for them, is the same time they crave to enjoy the things we have been trying to provide them which they cannot appreciate without us.
If we cannot even find time to stroll with them, play with them, eat lunch with them, cry with them, laugh with them, do foolish childish things with them, then we have missed out the most important definition of love for them. Love for them is spelled as T-I-M-E.
How they define love from what they experience from us, is most likely the same love they will show to their future family.
That is scary.
The same Dad who goes to work early in the morning and goes home very late at night from a drinking spree with his work comrades because of career politics will be replicated. The same mom who goes home late from the pressured work and overtime to help the family make ends meet. The child’s definition of love will only be based on how we “demonstrated” it to them.
Since this week is my children’s semestral break, I made sure to find time to spend with my daughter Airi in her exercise regimen and Aaron in his basketball training.
The feeling is so good to be able to connect to them. In their arena. In their level. Me as a workout buddy and a playmate, not a scary and authoritative father who is always very ready to correct and discipline them each time they make a mistake.
This morning I had a great time playing basketball with my son. It was great not because he was very good, it was great because I saw and discovered his areas for improvement. He was so unhappy and had a lot of complaints about things making his game really, really lousy.
I then had a chance to coach him and explain to him “principles” that I know he will be needing as he grows up. He was actually complaining about the sun and how it is making it hard for him to play properly.
I pointed out to him how most successful basketball players played under the heat of a 12noon sun (living in a tropical country, noon times here are really hot).
I also shared with him my teenage days when I was so involved with body building. I would go home from work (got married at 19 yrs old) at 11pm and would go straight to the gym about 12midnight and be the only one working out upto about 1am. While everyone is sleeping, I am doing what I love doing!
This is what I was talking about! Fathers who are not around misses this chance of “being there” when they are hurt or when they feel bad about things. Or simply they have incorrect information which can eventually hamper their potential to be the successful person they were designed to be.
I may not be a perfect father, but I sure know the right buttons to press that can create a difference in their lives. I learned it thru time. I learned it thru failures, pain and frustrations. The good news is, we serve a God of 2nd chances. He gave me another round to make up with things. I am not going to mess this up again.
My friends, next time you think about LOVE for your children, think about the QUALITY of TIME you spent with them.
Not only in their good times, but in their lousiest and craziest moments.
We will only pass this way once. Our children will be children for a very fast few years of our lives. Let us make sure we do not miss it…the effect is passed on to generation to generation.
Let us make sure we define it right!
LOVE IS TIME. TIME IS LOVE.
Until my next blog…HAVE A BLESSED LIFE AHEAD!
Special Thanks to my daughter Airi for proofreading. She is really an awesome lady!
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